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The current year signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. At the time, the idea that someone could suddenly stop communication with a partner without a word seemed like the peak of indignity. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, seeking a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently unsuccessful exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Zoomers, a generation who matured during a loneliness crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y elders could ever imagine. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a comprehensive guide to the terms Zoomers is using to discuss romance, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For Zoomers, romance's ideal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon connected to a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reaction is interested or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding enigma and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This means going for someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do low-cost dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal quirks indicating a prospective partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners crazy, poor tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits validate your choice to pursue a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately shut down any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {